the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
