sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize