I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
