So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
