But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
