I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
