At least make sure they are 18
Why
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
