If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
