Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
