i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
50% drunk capacity currently
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
