i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
