is your mom at the bar?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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