so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
