He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
