Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
