Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
