Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im holly from the hills drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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