Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
