Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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