It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she pinky promised me she was 18
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i now understand why vodka
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
