One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
