who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
