did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
