69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I smell stomach acid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
