Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
