So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize