my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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