I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
