Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
