she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
