exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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