i wish my penis had a tongue
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize