But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
