you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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