I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
