I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
