what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
