Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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