How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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