Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
