He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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