i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
