I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
