she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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