Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
