You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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