conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
