in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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