Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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