I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
false alarm, still single
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
