I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
