porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
