I'm really into asian looking animals
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
