Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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