I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
