How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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