we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
