He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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